My dearest Diary,

  I have been having a writer’s block. I don’t know how to articulate the things that are happening to me. I think I’m in love. Actually, I know I am in love. My heart said yes, so fast. Falling in love is like being a kid – running beside a boy through a gigantic…

La Sauce Africaine

If there is one thing I enjoy more than sex and wine, it’s having a chat with fearless African women who are bold and wild, making sense of their lives while taking their rightful place in the world. So, ever since I started binge watching the crazy women of La Sauce Africaine on Youtube after…

My mother lied

Your married mother tells you; “It’s either you want to get married or you don’t. It’s either you want to be tied down and enslaved for the rest of your life or you want to be a lonely cat lady living painfully ever after. It’s either you want to belong to your man or you…

Walking in borrowed shoes

  I don’t want to get married. Ever! In fact, I’d rather jump off a cliff into an ocean than agree to marry anyone. Why? No one has ever gotten married and lived happily ever after in my family; if they got married – they always came back and were “oomabuy’ekwendeni.” Also, what scares me…

Virtual Tea time with Lars

Zipho: So, I am going to start asking you questions from the very get go – and let’s start from the beginning. Who are you?  Lars: Okay, name is Lars Espeter. I was born in Germany, where I grew up most of my life in a typical middle class family. I studied English and German…

I’m tired.

By now, everyone has told you that if you do your best, it will pay off. You’ll pass the test, graduate, be acknowledged and keep the job – it’s inevitable. It’s the golden rule of the universe. All this is true. But, do you know what else is true? Shit happens. And, sometimes, your tissue…

Becoming Alright.

Saturday night. I have a glass of wine in my hand. Of course. I am in the dark outside my little room and am listening to Tank singing “I can’t make you love me if you don’t,” because this is what women do. We linger in brokenness. We’re never sure if it’s a cleansing process or ‘weak-ass-bitch’ nonsense….

Whiskey.

It’s complicated. I don’t want to get into the nitty-gritty details of how I fell in love with a man that could never be mine. I blindfolded myself and walked into the trap entirely aware, so I am eighty percent guilty. Make that eighty-five. The collateral damage happened in Johannesburg, although I had met him…

Alone.

One glass of wine is enough to get me all emo these days. It always starts with gourmet dinner, which I cook for myself (I call it self love). But then, instead of being in the moment, I think about how sad it is that I am having the meal alone. Today, as I am…

How the fuck am I a strong black woman?

Open your mind. Rip it apart, actually. Like you do a woman’s legs when you fuck her.   I hate limitations. Grandiose orthodox shit frustrates me. Having to sweat through a 9-5 in order to put food on my table is excruciatingly painful enough. And, sometimes, it feels like “strong black woman” comes with a…

Being Present

“Learn from yesterday, Live for today, Hope for tomorrow.”   These words. This is a quote I have in my room and everyday when I am stuck, it becomes very relevant to me. When you start to gather lessons from the things that have happened in the past, you begin to let go. This is…