Mothers and their daughters

Two weeks ago, I received news that made my stomach turn. One of my closest friend’s mother passed away so suddenly. In my friend’s distraught voice was a lot of pain about “how could this be?” and the natural questioning of the order and God himself. Everything shook her to the core. Like any mother…

The People Vs Patriarchy

“…Everybody is a man, you know? And you just choke! You choke. You constantly feel like you are being strangled; it’s so violating.” – Sibu Gcilitshana I first encountered the word ‘Patriarchy’ in University while I was studying Media, Communication and Culture. In the initial stages, it was mainly about how the media portrayed women,…

The right way to ‘stay’

I like going back to projects years after their release. I never stop recollecting all the wisdom I need from them, and we all know the meaning of art changes according to time and personal context. I get to really decipher my truth in and about them when there is less noise and opinions. Albums…

Hoe is life?

#I’m #glad #women #are #writing #themselves #out #of #social #constraints. The awareness that something was wrong (academically) started when I read Susan Faludi’s ‘Blame it on Feminism.’ I related to her as an academic. But, in hindsight, as a woman, I didn’t fully relate. White women’s grandeouse feminism (during her time) had a fixation on dismantling…

Be Selfish, in a good way

The world is moving fast. Friends aren’t always really friends. Family can be tiring and work, well, not always an easy ride. So when we find those people outside these burdensome realities, we hold on very tight to them and we sure put our claws in them because at a certain age, women ask themselves…

My dearest Diary,

  I have been having a writer’s block. I don’t know how to articulate the things that are happening to me. I think I’m in love. Actually, I know I am in love. My heart said yes, so fast. Falling in love is like being a kid – running beside a boy through a gigantic…

My mother lied

Your married mother tells you; “It’s either you want to get married or you don’t. It’s either you want to be tied down and enslaved for the rest of your life or you want to be a lonely cat lady living painfully ever after. It’s either you want to belong to your man or you…

Walking in borrowed shoes

  I don’t want to get married. Ever! In fact, I’d rather jump off a cliff into an ocean than agree to marry anyone. Why? No one has ever gotten married and lived happily ever after in my family; if they got married – they always came back and were “oomabuy’ekwendeni.” Also, what scares me…

I’m tired.

By now, everyone has told you that if you do your best, it will pay off. You’ll pass the test, graduate, be acknowledged and keep the job – it’s inevitable. It’s the golden rule of the universe. All this is true. But, do you know what else is true? Shit happens. And, sometimes, your tissue…

How the fuck am I a strong black woman?

Open your mind. Rip it apart, actually. Like you do a woman’s legs when you fuck her.   I hate limitations. Grandiose orthodox shit frustrates me. Having to sweat through a 9-5 in order to put food on my table is excruciatingly painful enough. And, sometimes, it feels like “strong black woman” comes with a…

Being Present

“Learn from yesterday, Live for today, Hope for tomorrow.”   These words. This is a quote I have in my room and everyday when I am stuck, it becomes very relevant to me. When you start to gather lessons from the things that have happened in the past, you begin to let go. This is…

Take the leap of faith and go!

  This time last year, I had a job in the Television industry in Cape Town. I was earning a salary that allowed me to rent in Cape Town CBD, do groceries and help out my sisters where I could. But, deep inside me was a feeling of exhaustion because the industry was just too…